I always think there is a special kind of magic in the air at this time of year and with that in mind I would like to mention my Christmas wish list.

I don’t want anything special for myself this Christmas that I haven’t already got: my much loved husband and family, continued good health, the joy I have in living (I’m a cancer survivor), my happy home and a wonderful place to live. I feel truly blessed.

You see I’ve come to realise as I’ve got older that the things that matter the most in life are free. You can’t buy a loving family or close loyal friendships that span decades. And the beauty of the sky and landscape are there for everyone to enjoy – rich or poor: “We are all lying in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars” – Oscar Wilde.

And you don’t need to spend a lot of money or run up credit card debt to have a good time. As a family we just like to get together – and go for long walks, eat wholesome home-cooked food round the table together, chat and play silly games – and give small inexpensive gifts from the heart. It’s all about the being together, the caring.

This year in particular we realise that it could be grandad’s last Christmas. Of course we want him to live for ever – but since he is 99 1/2 we are only too aware that out time together may be limited. We’re going to try to make it a really happy time for him, surrounded by those who mean a lot to him. A few days before Christmas there is to be a Carol Service at the nursing home where he now lives – so we will go and share that with him as he loves to sing. Also on Christmas Eve there is a show called ” A Kitten Extravaganza” at his home – which I have on good authority is a song and dance routine by some local primary school children. He will adore that – so we will join him to watch it and have a supper with him afterwards.

We have spent much time agonising and discussing if we should collect grandad for Christmas day since we don’t like to think of him alone in his room at the nursing home. But common sense has prevailed and reluctantly he is to stay there – but we will visit. This was not an easy decision but his medical problems are such that any alternative would now be nigh on impossible. He cannot walk more than a few faltering steps and uses a wheelchair – and we would struggle to even get him in through out front door ( we live in a Georgian house built in 1830 and it has steps up to the front door), Our lounge is on the first floor in order to maximise the wonderful view (more stairs) and we would struggle to manoeuvre his wheelchair around the place (bathrooms etc.) We worked out that by the time grandad is up and breakfasted, and has watched the Christmas morning church service on his television, had a nap to recover, then eaten the superb christmas lunch the staff at the nursing home will provide, and then taken another short nap – he will be refreshed and ready to see us for Christmas tea. The kind staff have said we can have a small dining room to ourselves so we can lay a festive table. Of course it’s impossible not to experience any guilt over our decision – but in our heart of hearts we do think this will be the best decision for everyone. Grandad knows we love him anyway – and the continuity of being in familiar surroundings will be more comfortable for him than the exhausting struggle of being transported around.

My special Christmas wish for my grandad is that as he approaches his 100th birthday he continues to feel a total inner peace and acceptance of his inevitable forthcoming journey to meet God. When I visited him on Friday he told me that Eileen, his much loved wife who died many years ago, often visits him now. She sits on the edge of the bed in his room and they chat. He was quite lucid and awake when he said this to me – and it’s not the first time he’s mentioned it. He said he finds her visits very comforting and they make him feel very happy. I asked him if he thought she was visiting him to let him know she was ready and waiting with her arms open wide for him, when his time came to join God. He smiled the warmest smile when I said that.

For the Chondrosarcoma Support Group that I help moderate – I have an extra special message and wish. Thank you for being such wonderful, brave people, so supportive of each other, so caring and selfless in the face of personal tragedies and suffering. And to all the relatives and carers of the patients – in recognition of how hard it is for you too, thank you from my heart. If I could have a special Christmas wish granted for you, it would be a cure to this terrible, painful and life threatening cancer, even if it was a slow cure in the form of funding to research a cure. We have lost some wonderful people to this disease since I joined the group – they may be gone but they are not forgotten. I shall light a remembrance Christmas candle for you all.

Of course, I have some special Christmas wishes for the World in general: Peace, A cure for all diseases, an end to poverty and suffering, clean drinking water and food for all, a home for everyone everywhere, and an end to lonliness & prejudice & slavery of every type. I’d also like people to be more self responsible – to recognise what they each can do to help each other and to help our planet. I suppose I’d like humanity to become humane. I’d like each of us to respect and celebrate each others differences and do good deeds with no expectation of reward. It’s a big ask isn’t it?

And for my blogging friends in particular, this special Christmas wish for each and everyone of you:

So as you are getting ready for Christmas, and the last card is written and posted, the gifts are wrapped, the larder is stocked and the festivities begin – make a Christmas wish for me, and grandad, and the Chondrosarcoma group, and the world, and don’t forget yourselves too.

PEACE AND LOVE TO YOU ALL!