Posted by: Author | May 11, 2008

Somewhere, Towards the end.

“There is no old age. There is as there always was, just you”  Carol Matthau

I was reading an article in one of the Sunday Mail magazines this morning, that really rang bells for me. It was entitled “This Life” by Diana Athill. She writes about what it is like to be 90 years old, and much of what she says really touches me - because of my Grandad (who will be 100 years old on August 11th) but also because as a cancer survivor myself, who has also lost many friends and relatives to cancer - I can really relate to what she is saying.

Diana said that she’d always avoided celebrating birthdays in the past - but somehow reaching 90 felt like a landmark. I know Grandad feels like this about achieving 100. However reaching a great age is not all smiles (read any of the posts in meet my grandad above and you’ll see why) - almost all your friends & siblings have died - in fact going to funerals becomes something you do frequently enough to be classed as a hobby. And it’s only when you cease getting such invitations that you realise there is nobody left from your group - you are the last survivor. They are all dead.

Diana described a journey she recently made through Primrose Hill, London -  she saw it as a map of her life’s journey. I could so relate to this. Recently when I was in Warwickshire on business, I drove from Stratford to Solihull and it was like rewinding an old black and white movie of my past.  I passed the road where one of my closest friends used to live - and the pub where a man I loved (and still love) literally swung me off my feet with such joy at seeing me, and the bluebell woods where Gilly and I walked the dogs, and the vet’s surgery where I used to take Henry (my beloved cat) - and then it dawned on me: they’re all dead now. Even the dogs and the cat are gone, every one of them, gone. And I’m only half Grandad’s age. It’s hard to accept death, but especially when those you love and lose are young.

That is the awful thing about getting older; your friends die, and your beloved pets too. They get to the end before you do - and the misery you feel is barely compensated for by remaining alive without them. Yet you want to be alive and to live, live, live. You just wish they could be here too.

Grandad must expeience these feelings by the bucket load daily. The only trouble is, he’s not sure he wants to be alive at 99 anymore. He gets more bad days than good days now. On Friday he told me that his room felt like a prison cell as he was unable to leave it now. I had to bite the inside of my cheeks so the pain would stop me crying. I did admit that I recognised how hard it was for him - I told him I understood - but he worries that if he upsets me I might not want to visit. As if.

There is little joy in being nearly 100 though, when you are in constant pain, sans teeth, sans hearing, sans eyes, almost sans everything. You’ve heard me say that before, I know. I keep wondering who I’m wanting Grandad to stay alive for. I’m not sure it’s for him.

Diana pointed out that, seeing the young gives her great joy: “They are lovely to look at and interesting in what they do and they counteract the pesimism of old age.” I know Grandad finds it a comfort seeing the young - they are the new beginnings, teeming with life and energy - they remind him of what was, what is, and what will be. His face lights up when I enter the room, still after all these years.

Diana also says that “the physical inertia of old age maks enjoyable things rarer, and because they are rarer they are even better than they used to be.” So for Grandad, being pushed in his wheelchair down to the seafront for an ice cream - is like a holiday from prison. An ice-cream - a wonderful treat. Meeting an old aquaintance, or even a new one, a short ride in a car even to the outpatients department of the hospital is an adventure.  He still likes adventures.

Lastly, Diana says that one of the joys of old age is that you remember the pleasures of life - and no longer feel a need to purge the pains you experienced. That’s surely worth getting old for, isn’t it?

Somewhere Towards the End by Diana Athill is published by Granta. I suspect it’s worth a read.

(If this post made you feel miserable - this will cheer you up! It makes me laugh everytime: karoake for the deaf! Apologies to anyone who thinks it’s not politically correct!)

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Posted by: Author | May 10, 2008

Hot News: Virtual Art Gallery Opens!

 

Create your own newspaper!

After yesterday’s Photo Friday fun, Tina of Sky Windows asked me how I managed to put my self portrait in an art gallery, so I thought it only fair to reveal my secret in this post - and at the same time launch The Virtual Art Gallery!

Since I started Photo Friday I’ve had some stunning entries from all the paticipants (click here to view them) and it got me to thinking that we should have our own Art Gallery  (virtual of course!)

So I thought maybe you would like to “frame” your own favourite Photo Friday entries (as many as you like - in your own time - there is no rush, this is an ongoing project!) from your personal collection (using the art gallery gadget below) and then e-mail me the links. I will display them in THE VIRTUAL ART GALLERY - which will hold everyones framed/displayed photos on show alongside a link to their blog. What do you think? As time goes on we could continue to add framed photos to our art gallery.

I’ve uploaded some of my work to the gallery, but at the moment it’s a bit lonely - so if you’d like to frame some art to accompany it - that’d be really cool! I’m betting that you can’t wait to play with this new toy! And I can’t wait to load them onto the The Virtual Art Gallery!

New toy: Please use this toy to frame/display your photos for The Virtual Art Gallery. (NB: Only photos put in a gallery setting will be uploaded on to the site)

Below a preview: Henry (1985 - 2004) at The Virtual Art Gallery

Posted by: Author | May 9, 2008

Photo Friday: self portrait

Today’s Photo Friday is entitled: “Self Portrait”

Follow the links below for other entries (I will add links as entries come in!):

Sky Windows & Idea Jump! & Blahblah Blog & Looking in the mirror

(Due to circumstances beyond Julie’s control (just for fun) her self portrait has been delayed!)

It wasn’t difficult choosing which gadget to use for my self portrait - how could I recreate myself as anything other than a Warhol inspired iconic pop art, pseudo Marilyn Monroe?  LOL!  And of course, I just had to hang my artwork on the wall of a gallery! How could I resist? But then I tried a neat trick - I captured my own reflection in a mirror. Which to use? You can decide which you prefer!

Below: Marilyn by Warhol

Isn’t life a series of images that change as they repeat themselves? ~ Andy Warhol
~
Below: Author - a self portrait in the Warhol style
displayed at the Museum Of Modern Art
~

If anyone that wants to have a go follow this link:  Warholizer

Below: Author - self portrait using my reflection in a mirror!

Entitled: Watching Me, Watching You!

also displayed at the Museum Of Modern Art

Top tip: I found that setting the camera on portrait didn’t work as the flash went off and was reflected in the mirror. So I set it on landscape and voila - it took a self portrait! :-)

Oh! And just one more!

Below: Author - a self portrait entitled:

“Capturing you, capturing me, watching you, watching me!”

And finally: Follow this link to view my self portrait Picasso style!

Next week’s Photo Friday for 16th May has been chosen by CuriousC: 

“Doors, Doorways, & Entries…. to the soul, the house, a city, whatever…”

Future Photo Friday titles:

Friday 23th May : Title by Julie: Emotion

Friday 30th May : Title by CordieB: Phantasmagoria

Friday 6th June : Title by Author: Diptychs

(or Triptychs if you prefer to use 3 images)

(Diptychs - two is better than one! Tell a story in just two frames. Get creative. Think in pairs! The aim of diptychs / triptychs is to make an interaction between two / three photos in such a way that the whole work has a greater value than its components).

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Posted by: Author | May 7, 2008

Walking the coastal path …

If you are seeking creative ideas, go out walking.  Angels whisper to a man when he goes for a walk”  ~ Raymond Inmon

Today, P and I did the most amazing 5 mile walk. We took the coastal path from Sidmouth, then walked two and a half miles towards Branscombe - stopping for a picnic lunch before returning. It wasn’t an easy walk - as you will see from the photos - it was up hill and down dale, although the views were stunning. The temperature was about 20 degrees Celsius, so it was also hot thirsty walking - with lots of stops to get refreshments out of the rucksack.

A vigorous five-mile walk will do more good for an unhappy but otherwise healthy adult than all the medicine and psychology in the world”  ~ Paul Dudley White

The coastal path is clearly signed but would not be suitable for pushchairs, wheelchairs or anyone with walking or health difficulties. It was tough but really worth doing.

I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read and all the friends I want to see”  ~ John Burroughs

Now we are back, I feel exhausted but thrilled that my leg held out (since I am a survivor of Chondrosarcoma of the tibia - which is a primary bone cancer) which can make lengthy walking painful and difficult. I can never quite tell whether my leg will have a good day or bad day - on a bad day I can’t walk a hundred yards without limping and pain. But mostly I get good days! :-)

He who limps is still walking”  ~ Stanislaw J. Lec

Below: the start of our walk.

We are heading towards the flat plateau of the next hill in the photo below - that’s where we will have lunch!

 

Below: enroute!

Below: part of the path is steep steps (284 of them just here!)

Below: stopping to catch my breath (you have no idea how tiring it was!)

Through the bluebells …..

Following the track through the Buttercup fields ….

Stopping to admire the wild primroses ….

Below: glancing back towards Sidmouth - we’ve walked from the other side of the hill you can see here.

We stopped at Higher Dunscombe Cliff for a rest - P couldn’t keep up with my pace! LOL!!! :-)

Below: OK - even I need a rest now! That’s the remains of the wreck of MSC Napoli you can see (look in the water just above my head).

I dream of hiking into my old age”  ~ Marlyn Doan

One last bit of effort required ….

We get there - and collapse in a heap - ready for our picnic lunch! (Mine are the pink boots!)

After lunch - we admire the vew - then head back home. The round trip took 4 hours (plus a lengthy picnic stop).

Tonight? A long hot bubble bath, a tasty meal, a long cold drink, The Apprentice on the television  …..  bliss!

After a day’s walk everything has twice its usual value”  ~ George Macauley Trevelyan

Ray’s blog (see comments below) - he was also walking the Sidmouth coastline today.

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The sun shone warmly on us today as we celebrated our 14th Wedding anniversary! This morning we worked up an appetite by climbing Salcombe Hill to look at the view over Sidmouth (you can see our house from here!) There was a heat haze (temperature about 19 degrees Celsius) so this was the best photo I could get from the top:  

Afterwards we drove to Woodbury Park, Golf & Country Club (previously owned by Nigel Mansell) for drinks and lunch on the terrace, overlooking the 18th tee (tomorrow we get to play a round ourselves - weather permitting). It’s a fabulous place with wonderful views, so we sat for a couple of hours soaking up the sun, watching the golf and reminiscing about out wedding day. Lovely!

After, we drove to Budleigh Salterton and walked along the beach, before enjoying an ice cream at our favourite beach cafe.

Days like today are the stuff that dreams are made of …

~

Sonnet 116 by Shakespeare

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wand’ring bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Above: P and me (after a quick dash before the camera timer went off!)

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